about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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