Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
my liver is dry heaving
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
