I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
