i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
