I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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