I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.