Can Purell be used as lube?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number