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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.

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• (631): View more from New York

  If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.

  Fav 21 1029 1439

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the essentials, lol

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.

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• (671): View more from Guam

  I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same

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• (315): View more from New York

  My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted

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