We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
