Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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