He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
