it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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