I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
