her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
