we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
