i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
