that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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