i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Randomize
