the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
this will be a night to untag.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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