Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
