Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
