do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
