I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
