sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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