Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
