Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
