Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
