I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
