Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
two words...techno handjob
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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