Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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