That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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