You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
