did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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