You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
