some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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