I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
