Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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