i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
