Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
