Did you just see the Batmobile???
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
