i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
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Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
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