But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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