My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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