Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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