My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize