Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
