I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
