nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
