batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
