did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
