omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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