I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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