A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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