Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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