I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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