apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize