Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize