he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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