Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
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My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
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you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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