It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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