Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
