Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
