Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize