the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
