he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize