hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
