just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize