Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
