You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
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