You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
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Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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