At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
