he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
