And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
