I bet he comes in French.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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