i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
